My Ultimate NBA team

In response to Parkers ultimate team, I have decided to create a super team of my own. This squad consists of players I would want to coach that I could take all the way to the NBA Finals. I selected this team based off of their passion and desire, their swagger, clutchness, winning, charisma, and overall abilities on the court. This team has players some people would never want on their “dream team” but I want them because of the edge they bring and how they can set the tone. I will select 2 players from each position (2 Center, 2 PF, 2 SF, 2 SG, 2 PG) and nothing else. Here we go.


PG- Gary Payton

The Glove. I want Gary Payton leading my squad because of his defensive abilities, passing creativity, leadership and swagger. Payton was a master of trash talk and led a team with no talent (other than Shawn Kemp) to the playoffs numerous times. He has a will to win and is arguably the best defensive point guard of all time. He’s a great leader who will distribute to my scorers and run the show on defense.

SG- Michael Jordan

How can you not go with MJ? The GOAT. Clutch. Winner. MVP. Swagger. He’s got it all. Jordan is everything I could ever want in a player. He’s an incredible leader, a proven winner, and one of the clutchest players ever. He also was All NBA defensive team numerous times showing his all around ability.

SF- Larry Bird

Larry legend is the best shooter of all time. Forget this Steph Curry talk. Bird reigns supreme until Curry or someone else can hit more clutch shots than him. I personally think the most badass thing of all time is Bird going into the 3-point contest and not even taking off his warm up jacket. Yeah, he was that confident. His swagger, passion, and shooting ability will help him be my number two scoring option behind MJ and be the captain of my squad.

PF- Charles Barkley

The Round Mound of Rebound is my choice to start at power forward. Barkley talks the talk and walks the walk. This War Eagle out of Auburn University is a tenacious rebounder and prolific scorer as well, averaging a double-double multiple times throughout his career. Though a bit undersized, Barkley is still a Hall of Famer for his work on the court and his presence as a teammate. Barkley will play his role and crash the boards 20x the amount Tristan Thompson did these past playoffs, then dishing it out to Bird or MJ in transition. Barkley led teams with absolutely zero talent on the Suns and Sixers to the playoffs and made them contenders because of his heart and will to win. I want that on my team.

C- Shaquille O’Neal

The Big Aristotle is my favorite center of all time. He is the reason Kobe is at 5 rings (he’d only be at 2 if it weren’t for Shaq). He helped build the legacy of D-Wade, getting him a ring in ’06. Shaq is a winner and a gamer. He’s got charisma that would help with the team’s mojo. He’s an unstoppable force on the boards and in the paint and nobody could ever stop him until he wore Celtic green in his later years. Shaq is a top-3 center of all time that has all the qualities I’d want a center on my team to have. He leads and he wins. Simple as that.


PG- Pete Maravich

Pistol Pete was born to play basketball. The man loves the game so much; you cant take the ball out of his hand. I saw a documentary once about him where he’d fucking dribble out the car window while being driven to school!!! That’s friggin insane. He loves the game and would bring passion and leadership to my squad. A great distributor and sneaky great scorer. Anyone with the nickname “Pistol” can play for me any day.

SG- Dwyane Wade

Wade is a top 5 shooting guard of all time in my opinion and to many others as well. The man is a stud, winning at every level of the game, and puts up stellar numbers while doing it. He’d be a great fit on this team as a role player off the bench because of his skillset and leadership abilities. Yes, he has started his whole career but he took a different role when LeBron came to South Beach, and I believe he can do the same here to bring me a title in my imaginary world.

SF- Reggie Miller

Potentially the greatest trash talker to ever play the game, Reggie is a lights out shooter and a team leader. Scoring 8 points in 30 seconds ain’t half bad either. The dude steps up in big time games and as Santana Moss says, “Big time players, make big time plays, in big time games.” Reggie does that for me.

PF- Christian Laettner

Ever since watching “I Hate Christian Laettner” on ESPN, I can’t help but love the guy. His passion, his game, his swagger, he is everything I dream of in a player. The only college player selected to play on the Dream Team, Laettner has experience in every aspect of the basketball world. He’s won on the college level, earned a gold medal in the Olympics, and played on a few playoff teams in the NBA. Yes, he wasn’t a great professional player, but he isn’t going to be contributing major minutes to this team. He is there as a teammate to push others in practice and lead by example. Laettner would bring energy off the bench in the 10-20 minutes he’d see a night and earn 8 boards in that time setting up Larry, MJ, or Reggie. I love Christian Laettner.

C- Dave Cowens

I may be biased choosing two of my hometown players to be on my team but there’s a reason these guys won titles. Cowens can say that he committed the most bad ass play of all time. It’s not even debatable. From the Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons, he tells a story about his first game at the Boston Garden to watch the Celtics and Dave Cowens was called for a soft foul. Cowens freaked out screaming at the ref. The very next play he tackles an opposing player into the stands and looks to the ref and says “Now that’s a fucking foul”. GET THIS MAN ON MY FUCKING SQUAD. I love that determination and heart. Guys a fucking warrior. He also averaged 17.6 ppg and 8.7 rbg on his way to a hall of fame career so he’s a pretty decent player as well. He’d be a hell of a role player and a locker room type guy I need to have.

Honorable Mentions:

I’d love to have Kobe or LeBron but I don’t see them starting over MJ or Bird and don’t think they’d be satisfied with a bench player role. Their egos are too big and wouldn’t work well in the locker room environment I want to have.

Paul Pierce and Ray Allen are two of my favorites as well who have won in big time atmospheres but I don’t think there’s much argument when it comes down to two of the greats over them at their positions.


One comment

  1. Troll ochobingo · June 25, 2015

    The fact that magic isn’t in your starting 5 is a disgusting joke. I could get a creamy nut off on my own faster than Gary dribbles the ball backwards up the court like a functioning tard. How many hand jobs did Laettner give you to get on this list? Fucking loser.


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